Building the Foundation of Trust

Trust is the foundation of any meaningful relationship. But what does trust really mean? How do we define it—and how do we measure it? 

For some, trust is rooted in consistency and honesty. For others, it’s about emotional availability or the confidence that someone will be there when it matters most. Below is a list of qualities that many people associate with trust. Take a moment to reflect on each one. Reflecting on these qualities can offer a deeper understanding of trust in your relationship.

Which qualities resonate most with your own definition of trust? Are there others you would add? How well do they describe your partner’s actions or behaviors? How well do they describe your own? Where are the two of you excelling in building and maintaining trust—and where might there be room for growth? How do these qualities come together in your interactions with your partner—and how can both of you nurture and grow them moving forward? 

Accountability – Do they take responsibility for their actions, especially when they fall short? Do you own your mistakes and make amends when needed?

Availability – Is your partner emotionally and physically available when you need them? Are you present and available for them in the same way? 

Communication – Do they keep you in the loop about their feelings, thoughts, intentions, plans, and truths? Do you share your inner world with them? 

Consideration – Are they thoughtful about your needs and the needs of others? Are you equally mindful of your partner’s and others’ needs? 

Credibility – Do they say what they mean and mean what they say? Do you feel you do the same? Can you both be believed? 

Dependability – Do you feel confident that your partner will be there for you, whether it’s spoken or unspoken? Can they count on you in the same way?

Emotional Regulation – Do they respond calmly and respectfully in emotionally charged moments? Do you manage and express your emotions in ways that promote connection?

Empathy – Do they try to understand your feelings and perspectives? Do you extend the same understanding to them?

Honesty – Are they truthful with you, even when it’s difficult? Are you honest with them, even about uncomfortable truths? 

Integrity – Do they act according to their values, even when it’s difficult? Do you strive to live in alignment with your values?

Intimacy – Does your partner allow themselves to be vulnerable and connect deeply? Do you offer the same emotional openness and sense of safety in return? 

Patience – Are they patient with your growth, struggles, and healing? Are you patient with theirs?

Reliability – Does your partner follow through on what they say they will (and won’t) do? Do you? Are you both consistent in aligning your actions with your words? 

Self-orientation Balance – Are they focused on nurturing the relationship, or do they tend to be overly self-focused? Do you show them care and attention—or do you sometimes get caught up in your own world? 

Consistency – Do they demonstrate these qualities regularly? Do you? Is there a pattern of trust-building behavior on both sides?