“Don’t Worry, Be Hoopy”: Lessons from Bob’s Burgers and IFS

When I’m in the mood for a feel-good TV show, I turn on Bob’s Burgers. If you’re unfamiliar, it’s an animated sitcom that follows the Belchers—a husband (Bob) and wife (Linda), who own a burger restaurant, along with their three kids—anxious, boy-obsessed Tina; snackish, aspiring musician Gene; and the often fearless, mischievous Louise. Most episodes follow the kids’ adventures and hijinks, they’re full of belly-laughs, and usually end with a heartwarming sentiment.

The episode I’m especially excited to share is Season 15, Episode 18 “Don’t Worry, Be Hoopy.” Therapy often involves working with coping strategies developed by our younger selves that don’t serve us as well today. There are many ways to do this, but the one I use most often is Dr. Richard Schwartz’s Internal Family Systems (IFS, you can read more about it here.) It’s a complex theory, but the basis is that we all have parts inside us with different, sometimes competing, ideas about how we should engage with ourselves and those around us. This is exactly what “Don’t Worry, Be Hoopy” explores.

In this episode, Tina is invited to compete in a free throw contest (spoilers ahead!). Throughout the episode, Tina is frightened by glimpses of a ballerina. We later learn the ballerina is actually Tina’s six-year-old self. As Tina connects with her younger self, we learn that at six she faked an injury to avoid performing in a ballet recital because she was scared. Similar to how many of our younger parts try to influence us, Tina’s six-year-old self initially wanted her to fake an injury again to avoid the anxiety of the free throw competition. (Our parts’ strategies aren’t always helpful—after all, who really wants to break their own arm like six-year-old Tina later suggests?—but they are usually trying to protect us. In this case, little Tina wants to protect older Tina from possible embarrassment.) There’s a beautiful moment when Tina, talking to her younger self, says, “Look, I know you’re trying to help but I don’t want to run away this time…I was six, faking an injury was a solid plan…I’m not little anymore, I’m a big girl now.” At first, her younger self, afraid of failure and embarrassment, resists letting go of the old strategy, saying, “Hello, it works…” Tina gently challenges her, pointing out they might do terribly and lose, do great and win, or land somewhere in between, but “what really matters is we just go out there and have fun…I gotta go now or I’ll never get to do it. It’ll be ok.” Six-year-old Tina is soothed by older Tina’s patience and encouragement, and soon, both Tinas feel ready to take the leap and participate in the competition.

Isn’t that a beautiful lesson we could all use? Not letting the fear of our younger, more vulnerable selves rob us of fun, meaningful experiences in the here and now. And to relate to our younger selves with patience, compassion, and encouragement. We can all do the scary thing, so we can enjoy the fun things—and we can do it while holding all parts of ourselves with love.

The episode ends with Tina stepping up to the free throw line, taking a deep breath, and releasing her first shot. The screen fades to the end credits before we see if she made the basket or won the competition—because the outcome doesn’t matter. To be a little cliché, she’d already “won” the real challenge by letting go of old, limiting strategies with compassion, and stepping into greater self-trust.

It’s a fantastic episode, and I highly recommend watching the whole thing.

If you’d like support in getting to know your younger parts, letting go of old limiting strategies, and building more self-trust, reach out for a consultation with me! I’d love to connect with you.