Grounding & Resourcing Techniques for Overwhelming Emotions: 20+ Tools to Calm & Regulate
- Meghan Jerry, LMFT, CST
- Oct 4
- 8 min read
This guide is meant as a quick reference for coping with strong emotions between sessions. It’s not a substitute for therapy or crisis support. If you ever feel unsafe or unable to cope, please reach out to a crisis support helpline or call 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (in the U.S.). If outside the U.S., visit findahelpline.com.
We’ve all experienced times when our emotions feel overwhelming. Luckily, there are many ways we can intervene and find a sense of calm and grounding again. Below you’ll find a variety of grounding skills and resources to help you do just that. These practices are drawn from a range of evidence-based approaches, including EMDR and somatic therapies. Different techniques work for different people—so take what resonates and leave what doesn’t.
In my therapy work, I often see clients who feel swept away by their emotions. Over the years, I’ve witnessed these grounding tools help many of them feel steadier and more connected—to themselves and others. I hope this guide gives you something you can use right away, between sessions (I use them myself!). You might want to try them all to see which ones work best for you. I’ve made a free, downloadable worksheet you can use to help you keep track.
You might think of these grounding techniques as a layover—a place to pause and steady yourself before continuing your journey—not a destination to stay at forever. Once you feel calmer, it can be useful to get to know an emotion and explore it further, whether on your own or with a therapist. (You can read more about how to get to know your feelings here.)
Before you begin, take a moment to check in with how you’re feeling and what sensations you notice in your body. After trying an exercise, check in again to see what’s shifted. Even small shifts count!
Grounding Techniques & Exercises for Emotional Distress
Grounding skills help us cope with challenging or overwhelming feelings by bringing our awareness back to the present moment. They are especially useful when we feel anxious, flooded, or disconnected.
Start with belly breathing. Place a hand on your stomach, slowly inhale through your nose so your belly rises, then slowly exhale fully through your mouth, letting your stomach soften.
Variation: Inhale for a count of 4, exhale for a count of 6. Repeat until you feel calmer and more present.
Try a simple grounding technique, with a butterfly hug:
Place both feet flat on the floor.
Lean back into your chair and notice the feeling of your back and body being supported by the chair.
Add the butterfly hug. Cross your arms over your chest and gently tap your shoulders, alternating sides. (If in public, you can tap your thighs, one side at a time, instead.)
Notice your feet being supported by the ground and gently press your feet into the floor.
Take three deep breaths.
Use the 5-4-3-2-1 Sensory Exercise.
Name 5 things you can see.
Name 4 things you can feel (e.g., “my feet on the floor”).
Name 3 things you can hear.
Name 2 things you can smell (or 2 scents you like).
Name 1 thing you can taste (or 1 positive thing about yourself—you don’t have to stop at just one!).
Name the colors. Look around and find a painting, picture, tapestry, or simply look out the window. Name all the colors and shades you see.
Pick a color. Choose a color and find as many objects in that color as you can.
Hold ice. Place ice in your hand. Notice the sharp, cold sensation—it’s hard to think of much else besides your chilly hand!
Note: If ice is too intense, you can use cold/cool water.
Hold something warm. If ice sounds too unpleasant, try something warm (e.g., holding a warm mug of tea).
Taste something strong. Try mints, spicy food, sour candy, or a slice of lemon. Similar to the ice, the intensity can quickly bring us into our body and distract from upsetting thoughts.
Tip: Pick a food that is strong, but tolerable for you. The goal is to be able to easily notice the flavor/sensation, not to suffer.
Engage with water. Run warm or cold water on your hands, paying attention to the temperature and sensation of the flowing water, take a bath or shower or, if possible, go somewhere for a swim. Even just looking at images of water has been shown to be effective at calming our bodies! (You can read more about the “Blue Mind Effect” here.)
Use progressive muscle relaxation (PMR). This technique can help your body release tension. Bonus: PMR can help you sleep at night. (You can read more about what to do if you struggle to sleep here.)
Find a comfortable position either sitting or lying down
Start with your toes, tense them by curling them under, hold for a few seconds, and release.
Move up your body in groups continuing to tense and relax each group.
Notice the sensation of relaxation after each release. Your body might even start to feel tingly.
Important: Avoid tensing injured areas or if medically ill-advised.
Practice self-compassion. Offer yourself gentle, supportive self-talk such as: “This is hard, but I’m not alone.” (Learn more about how to practice self-compassion here.)
Practice cultural connection. If it’s helpful to you, utilize prayer, connection with or wisdom from ancestors, or traditional rituals.
Activating the Vagus Nerve
The vagus nerve, part of the ventral vagal system, helps us feel calm and connected. When stressed, our nervous system shifts into our sympathetic nervous system (fight, flight, activation) or our dorsal vagal system (freeze, numb, checked out). (You can learn more about these systems here.)
The following practices can re-engage the ventral vagal system, supporting connection and well-being (they are especially powerful if done with a trusted other):
Humming or singing
Making a buzzing sound like a bee
Chanting “Om” slowly
Rocking gently
Rubbing your belly in a clockwise direction
Moving your body (e.g., walk in nature, yoga, tai chi)
Connecting with loved ones (including pets)
Variation: Read a book or watch a show/movie to connect with beloved characters
Noticing “glimmers”—these are small, fleeting, but numerous moments that bring us joy, peace, and comfort (e.g., spotting a rainbow, the warmth of the sun, the softness of a blanket)
Resourcing Tools for Emotional Regulation
Resourcing is about building inner tools you can turn to when distressed. These are often used in EMDR but can benefit anyone. If you’re unfamiliar with any of these resources, you can click on them to read the scripts and listen to audio recordings.
Peaceful place. Imagine yourself in a calm, peaceful place. Notice the sights, sounds, smells, and sensations in your peaceful place. Allow the tension in your body to soften as you enjoy this experience.
Light stream. Bring your attention to any uncomfortable feelings in your body. Imagine a bright, healing light, in any color you want, above your head. Visualize this healing light entering your body through the top of your head. Allow the healing light to spread, softening the uncomfortable feelings, and filling your body, bringing a sense of peace and well-being.
Container. Visualize a magical container where you can set aside overwhelming thoughts or feelings until you’re ready to process them. Imagine this container can hold as much as you need, and nothing will come out until you go back and open the container. (Tip: Don’t use this resource to avoid emotions altogether—just to hold them safely for later, whether to revisit on your own or in therapy).
Building Emotional Resilience
These techniques work best if practiced regularly—ideally practicing at least one skill daily. Try spending just 2–5 minutes on one grounding technique or resource each day, even when you’re not upset. Especially when you’re not upset. Think of your favorite sports team, they run drills and practice for hours upon hours, so that in the pressure of game time they are ready to use their skills and run the plays without hesitation. That’s what we’re working towards, to be able to confidently and competently use these skills when you need them most, even under pressure.
Over time, these habits make it easier to recall and use grounding strategies during stressful moments. Regular practice can even rewire the brain and nervous system for calm (learn more about that here). Even my most (healthily) skeptical clients have been pleasantly surprised at what a big difference these simple techniques can make when used regularly.
Grounding Toolbox
A grounding toolbox is a physical collection of items you can use for comfort and soothing when overwhelmed. The last thing we need when we’re struggling is to run around searching for something to help. Just knowing this box is there when you need it can be comforting.
Here are some ideas for your toolbox, many suggested by my clients, but you can add anything that brings you a sense of comfort or connection:
Grab a basket, box, bag—anything you want—to store the items of your toolbox. Choose something comforting. You can even decorate a simple cardboard box if you’d like.
Peppermint, spicy, or sour candy/snacks
Essential oils (sealed separately from food items)
Lavender or sandalwood for relaxation (if in fight/flight)
Citrus or peppermint for invigoration (if in freeze, checked out)
Chamomile tea or a fizzy beverage
Lotion with a soothing scent and texture
Noise cancelling headphones or earplugs
Music or nature sounds
Smooth stone or crystal
Fidget toys, playdough, or silly putty
Bubbles and bubble wand
Scalp massager
Weighted blanket
Stuffed animal for squeezing and snuggling
Heating pad, hand warmers, or instant cool packs
Favorite book, coloring book (and coloring pencils), or puzzle
Photos of people, pets, or places that evoke positive feelings
Notes with positive affirmations or meaningful quotes
Journal & pen
Printed copy of this blog or the accompanying worksheet (found here)
(Note: You may want to consider only choosing items that help you connect with your body. Some substances, while often used for relaxation, may pull you away from feeling directly.)
A Gentle Reminder
Remember, learning these skills is a practice. They might not work instantly, and that’s okay. Sometimes they work right away, and sometimes it takes a few tries—both are completely normal. Every small step you take toward offering yourself this gentle care and calming your body and mind matters. The more you practice, the easier it becomes—just like playing a sport. If you’d like support, I’m here for you.
Ready to Get to Know Your Emotions on a Deeper Level?
If after using these techniques you’re feeling great and want to get to know your emotions more, click here for a guide on how to feel your feelings.
When Grounding and Resourcing Doesn’t Help
If none of these techniques bring relief, please don’t see it as a failure. Slow down, reach out to trusted support people, use your safety plan, or contact a crisis support line. You don’t have to figure this out alone.
When to Seek More Support
If emotions become especially overwhelming and you are unable to calm down or feel out of control, immediately contact a crisis support line or call 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (in the U.S.). If outside the U.S., visit findahelpline.com.
Learn More
I hope you’ve found this guide helpful. If you’d like to explore these skills further—whether in talk therapy sessions, or through advanced approaches such as ART (Accelerated Resolution Therapy) or EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)—you’re welcome to schedule a free 20-minute consultation with me. I’d love to hear from you.
This guide is part of a growing series on emotional regulation and resourcing. I’ll be adding links to related posts soon!
This content is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional care. Seek medical or mental health help if you’re in crisis or have concerns.
